About Me...

Hello my name is Mele,
I was born and raised in Hawaii. Im a 21 year old girl obviously and not to mention a total mess. My life was tough from the start. I was supposed to be a twin, the story My mom would tell me is the the reason I have a Blonde streak is because before my brother went to heaven he kissed my head and left a pink spot on my head where the blonde grows from. My Mom had me when she was 16 years old and was on drugs all while i grew up She had 8 kids total I am the oldest. My dad has been in and out of jail my whole life and on drugs so I couldnt rely on him either I was adobted by my grandmother...we were always very very poor. I got a job to buy food and my own clothes when i was 16 and have been working ever since but living pay check to pay check. I was on drugs for awhile....always drunk or stoned(weed) from 15 years old. I was a total disaster for a long time Getting soo drunk and blacking out not remembering what had happened but when I finally cleaned up my act and got a full time job saved up enough for my part of the first months rent and my part of the deposit, my friends bailed out on me. Left me high and dry with no where to turn so I moved in with my boyfriend because my family all had no room for me. When I first moved in we were only dating for two months soo things were fresh and happy. But by a year and a half I went from having loads and loads of friends to having 4 friends left, all of whom he did not like of course...... There was alot of him putting me down & making me feel terrible... ALOT of weight gain in 2 years (almost 80 lbs) & his family complaining about any and everything I did. As of June 17 we would have made 1 yr and 4 months but we broke up June 2 2010. It was the worst day of my life but I have to do what is best for me.
As of Friday June 5, 2010 I decided the only place I could survive is in the mainland......Hawaii is, and always will be my home....but its small, expensive and hard to survive.

Im sooo scared of moving for several reasons....
1.Im scared of heights and hate flying.
2. Ive never even been out of the state of hawaii.
3. I have 2 friends there
4. I know the people are not like me....will I fit in?
5.I dont want to leave him after almost 2 and a half years because I love him

So I almost have enough money to get there but Im struggling with it. My friend who is in Ohio(im moving to live with her till i get on my feet) She suggested I start a blog and ask people to donate.....I love other people alot and I give to charity when I have and if a homeless man ask for money I stop and give him money but I am Very doubtful when it comes to asking other people for things..... I feel very ashamed...so im asking online. Im not asking for a hundred dollars because i know everyone has their own problems and thats not fair of me but $.50 from 100 people is $50 and $50 x 12= $600 which is how much my ticket cost.