Strip Club

Last night me and my NEW friends went to a strip club for one of their friends bday! And let me just say it was AWESOME, I got hit on by a stripper who wanted my number but I had no number so she wanted me to wait till she got off work so we could hang and she could give me her number lol but I couldnt so I left cause I had a ride home. Besides by the time I left I was sooo drunk off 151 I couldnt even think straights.THEN the car ride home which i do not remember! it was a freaking nightmare....you know how i was talking about how crappy bf treats me? well....apparently for last night i had switched teams i mean chicks are hot i have always thought so but never have i thought that i wanted to lick a pussy but apparently on the car ride home i was totally molesting poor L***e like trying to kiss on her and like all kinds of stupid disgusting things...............I feel like never showing my face again! They told me I was saying all these things and revealing all my best friends secrets to the whole car...and hitting on L**** in front of her bf, he thought it was hilarious tho!

Temporary Fix

I miss my boyfriend (even tho hes a crazy pain in my ass) I have been substituting(talking to, not anything else! dont get the wrong idea) him with someone else......and i feel bad about it because well besides the most OBVIOUS reasons that im betraying my boyfriends trust...actually lack of trust cause its been 2 1/2 years and finally i have had enough of his mess i guess....i feel like he keeps pushing and pushing me farther away and now im 40 something thousand miles away!
But ne ways the other reason i feel bad is because i love him and no matter the reason I shouldnt be substituting him with NE ONE! its just i wouldnt want to if he was nicer sometimes......today he saent me a message saying

You promised me we would talk, and you couldnt even care to talk to me without being "rude" to some fuckin stranger, then you put that snake on the phone, i never got to tell her, shes a dumbshit and i trust you more than her. Then you hangup on me, then i call you like 30 times, with no answer~i was worried not jealous, but if you dont care and you are making me look like a bitch, then i hope you two slash your wrists and bleed to death in a fucking ohio ditch!

like seriously all that and him not answering my call for days? all because I hung up on him, cause instead of talking to me the whole conversation he was arguing for 15 minutes straight and I was at a 4th of july party with people i had just met that day! and all i was saying was i couldnt talk long because i didnt want to be rude and he blew it all up! I mean hes just sooo cruel to me its ridiculous.......
 Well guys bye for now im going to have a girls night with my best friend ^_^ thank god for her! btw in the message he was taking about my best friend when he said "her" and "you two"

Home for now

Im here in Ohio I landed the 3rd at 10:11 pm here in Ohio. Its crazy cause I still dont feel like im here....like this is just temporary but i know its not! I know I have to try and make it here because im tired of being a nobody in hawaii....its too expensive to make it on your own and I just want to be happy for once. I wish my boyfriend could understand that but hes not making this easy on me

I leave HAWAII in 7 hours and 30 mintues

I'm finally going to be with my best friend.  ^_^ sometimes when i talk to her i hear about all the drama and it makes me not want to go....but I love her and am looking forward to being near her. The area is neat...that's right i said neat damn don't throw rocks GEE!!!!!!!! ne ways I'm excited but I'm really nervous about how things are going to work out....I have all my eggs in this one basket and if the basket breaks then I'm fucked.
My family came over last night for a dinner for "me" yet they sat around gossiping and they barely spoke to me and when they did they lectured me! its the cycle of my family I'm not saying I'm don't have the same problem but i feel like i do it in a nicer way!(not the gossiping the lecturing) Like i don't ATTACK U and come at u in pairs......that's just ridiculous! why would u want me to remember u that way? That was the last night I'm going to be in Hawaii and that's how I have to remember it! They make it hard for me to care I'm just so sick of it really! And my friend was telling me " Oh they are prolly going to give u cards and money!" and i said "HAH yea right! I highly doubt that!" and I was right no cards or money! They could care less about me! Yet when my cousin K Went on a mission for a MONTH they gave him money!!!!!!!!!!! How the fuck is that? I'm the one moving! But u know what i just don't care because their not going to call and I'm not going to waste my energy! they have their own lives now and that's fine with me!